By Judith A. Verduzco, LCSW — Therapist and Founder of Monarchs Therapy
Published September 2025
The First Time I Had a Panic Attack
I was 23 years old, one semester away from graduating from Cal State Northridge, when I had my first panic attack. I was sitting in a Chicano Studies class, taking a final exam, when suddenly I felt an overwhelming wave of fear. My heart pounded, my chest tightened, and the room began to spin.
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
I vividly remember looking up at my professor and asking if I could step outside. He must have seen the terrified look on my face because he sent his aide to walk with me. I told her, “I don’t feel well—I think I’m going to die.” They called an ambulance, and in that moment, I was convinced I was having a heart attack.
Hours later, after all the tests came back “normal,” I was told I was fine. That was the first time I heard the words: panic attack.
It was also the first time I went to therapy. At 23, sitting across from Ron, my therapist, I didn’t fully understand what was happening—but I knew I needed help. Looking back, that moment became the start of my healing journey (even though at the time, it just felt scary and confusing).
It would take me years after that day to begin connecting the dots between my panic attacks and the underlying trauma I had carried with me.
Needless to say, I managed to graduate that year. Looking back at my graduation photo now, I see someone who had just discovered what panic attacks were, had just stepped into therapy for the first time, and was beginning a journey she didn’t fully understand yet. But she still made it through.
What Does a Panic Attack Feel Like?
For me, panic felt like my body had completely betrayed me. Common symptoms include:
- Racing heart
- Dizziness or lightheadedness
- Derealization (feeling detached from reality)
- Sweating and shaking
- A sense of impending doom or fear of dying
💡 The scariest part? Even though your body is screaming that you’re in danger, nothing is actually wrong.
What I’ve Learned Over the Years
I wish I could say that would be the last panic attack I ever had, but at 46, that’s far from the truth. The difference is that now I’ve learned a few things.
Since that first experience, I’ve had my fair share of panic attacks—but I’ve also learned how to cope with them. I’ve gotten better at recognizing my triggers—the situations, stresses, or even body sensations that tend to set off that spiral. Knowing them doesn’t mean I can always avoid panic, but it gives me a head start on calming myself down.
As both someone who has lived through them and as a therapist, I now understand that panic is your body’s alarm system on overdrive—going off when it doesn’t need to.
💡 The best time to calm a panic attack is often before it fully takes over. Helping your body send signals of safety to your brain—what therapists call a bottom-up approach—has made all the difference for me.
5 Grounding Tools That Help Me
| Tool | How It Helps | Example |
| Breathing | Slows the nervous system and signals safety | Focus on long, steady exhales (I like 4-6-8 breathing) |
| Cold/Ice | Snaps you back into the present moment | Hold an ice cube, splash cold water on your face |
| Movement | Burns off the extra adrenaline | Take a short walk, stretch, or gently pace |
| Progressive Muscle Relaxation | Releases tension and calms the body | Gently tense and release shoulders, hands, or legs |
| Grounding With Touch/Pressure | Creates a physical sense of stability and safety | Press feet firmly into the floor, wrap up in a weighted blanket, or hug yourself tightly |
A Message to Anyone Living With Panic
If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you know it’s not “just stress” or “just anxiety.” It can feel life-threatening in the moment. You’re not weak. You’re not broken. And you’re definitely not alone.
Through therapy, self-compassion, and these grounding tools, I’ve been able to live with panic in a healthier way. The waves still come sometimes—but now I know how to ride them instead of letting them pull me under.
And here’s the full circle: that very first panic attack at 23 was also the moment I first walked into a therapy office. I know what it feels like to sit in that chair for the first time—terrified, unsure, just hoping someone can help.
That experience shaped me, both personally and professionally. It’s one of the reasons I became a therapist. Because I want others to know that with the right support, healing is possible.
✨ Key takeaway: Panic attacks are frightening but survivable. With the right tools and support, you can learn to calm your body, re-train your brain, and reclaim your peace.
Closing
If panic attacks are part of your story and you’re curious about whether therapy might help, our team at Monarchs Therapy would be honored to support you. You can schedule a free consultation here and take that first step at your own pace.